How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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T u r n i p s

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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