Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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