Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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