Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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