Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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