Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A house comes around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops