Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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