- Anti Joke

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.