Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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i'm hard

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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