What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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