what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock No solicitors

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops