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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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