Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Im adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

class is canceled. My professor died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops