If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops