There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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woman's rights

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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God is real.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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The New York Giants

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops