Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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