What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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