Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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