roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops