What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops