Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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I have an idea! You leave.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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