If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Why did the boy drop his vannlai ice cream?because Vannlia ice came.

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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