What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Refridgerator.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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