Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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