What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

RUN

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

Why do fat people commit suicide

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...