Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

What is life? Paul.

Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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