knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops