A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops