What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

race-car = rac-ecar

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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