Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

What's the difference between a lamp?

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

there was once a jew

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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