why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops