When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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