*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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