Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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