wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Dick Cheney That's the joke

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

Asian women drivers...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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