What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

thumb_up thumb_down +28

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +26

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

thumb_up thumb_down +26

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops