A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

One time i was sitting down

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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