What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

thumb_up thumb_down -36

There once was a man from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

42

thumb_up thumb_down -38

This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -42

knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

thumb_up thumb_down -46

"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

24

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops