A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...