What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whos on the right track? lady gaga

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops