Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

rarw

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

Your momma's so old she might die soon.

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

Barack Obama.

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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