Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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