whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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whats my name? Matt

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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denisssssssssssssss

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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I'm so punny.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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