how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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