whats long and black? a baton

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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