A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the new green? Green

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the game

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops