How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops