What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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