How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops