Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

A guy walks into a bar

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

A man walks into a sofa. BANG

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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