What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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