FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops