Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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What's 9+10? 19

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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