Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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Niall Horan

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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