what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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